Thursday, November 8, 2012

My Mom

My Mom

I’m thankful for my mom. How often I took her for granted growing up. All I knew was my little world and didn't know, or maybe just didn't see, all the moms that weren't there for their kids. I didn't know some moms could be so mean and hateful to their children. I didn't know some moms could not show their children love and treat them as though they were a mistake or a constant nuisance.  There are moms that are dying of horrible diseases and cancers who just can’t be there for their kids. There are moms who just abandoned their children either physically or emotionally. I didn't realize that some moms cause so much heart ache in their children, so much emotional turmoil that can affect their kids their whole lives. There are moms with mental illnesses, and all types of addictions that wound and hurt their whole families for years. I didn't know that not everyone thought their mom was “the best.” That there were some people who didn't care to see or talk to their mom because of the pain and confusion it brought. Having a mom like this seemed like fiction to me. It was so far removed from what my mom showed me that I don’t think I could even process that kind of mom. I didn't know people could have a mom but feel like they didn't at the same time. I've taken for granted the constant love and support my mom has shown me from the second I was born.

My whole life she would tell me how much I was wanted and how I was her special gift from God. She poured into me such tenderness. She adored me and sacrificed her life to rock me in her loving arms and nurse me with such care. She pushed everything off to the side and made sure I knew I was loved and completely beautiful. She must have told me I was beautiful every single day. How I needed that! Really, what little girl doesn't? She showed me real beauty and how God had a purpose for me. 

She taught me that I had something special to give the world and never to compromise. She taught me about God and loved to point Him out in everyday life. She saw Him in the colorful fish, rainbows and flowers. How she spotted him in those flowers!

We would be walking somewhere and all of a sudden she would gasp so loud and her voice would get super high-pitched and everyone would think something horrible just happened. But nothing horrible happened… she just had spotted a flower, butterfly or a sunset. She saw what others missed. She would just stare at it for a few seconds in awe and always say, without fail, “How can people say there in no God?” She couldn't understand denying the undeniable. I love that about her. These little things made such an impact on me. Because of my mom, I see the world a little bit differently, too. I notice God’s handiwork, His little splashes of color and life in the everyday routine.

I remember one ordinary night when I was a teenager. I was in my bed and was coughing and coughing the whole night. My mom came in at some ungodly hour and spoon fed me medicine while I was half asleep. She didn't have to do that. I was definitely old enough to get it myself, but that’s how she loved me. She was my biggest fan and still is. She would take me out of school occasionally so we could have a mommy date at the movies and just talk. I may have missed a few lessons at school, but I gained memories I wouldn't trade for the world. She never ceased to encourage me day in and day out. When I was nervous she would look me dead in the eyes and say with no uncertainty in her voice that, “If someone else can do it, so can you.” I believed her and I still repeat that to myself when those insecurities come creeping back. She always thought my writing was special and she kept all my poems that I even forgot I wrote so many years back. That meant the world to me and helped me to believe in myself that much more. My standards were so high throughout my life because she never expected anything less for me. It was normal to have high expectations because that’s really all I knew. She taught me that I was worth waiting for, that I was a gift. She poured out her love, she sacrificed more than I know, and she cheered me on. There’s no one else out there like my mom! I can’t believe I didn't thank her everyday for all that she's done. I owe more than I can ever pay to her.


Even though we are so different in so many ways, I find it endearing when I see my mom in myself~ when I gasp at a grasshopper or squeal with delight at the blue jay perched on the tree branch. Motherhood is so hard! The days are so long but my mom reminds me that the years are short. I'm so thankful for all her wisdom she is constantly tossing my way. I do need to enjoy this season. I need to remember that ‘this too shall pass.’ It's never too late to say thanks for all the times she changed my diaper, wiped my nose and bandaged my wounds. Thanks to my mom when she disciplined me and wouldn't let me have my way. She was always going beyond the call of motherhood and just simply enjoying me. I am the person I am today because of the way she loved me. Here are my words, my heart and my thanksgiving for my mom. I hope I can cherish my children the way she always has with me. I love her not even for all she does (which is a whole other book to write) or the fact that she's an organizational goddess, but I love her because she's mine and God chose her exactly for me. I don’t deserve such an amazing mom. I really couldn't ask for more. She is a gem in my life. I love my mom!

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