Thursday, November 8, 2012

Lessons through the weeds

I was in the middle of washing the dishes from the last several meals, so to say I was backed up was an understatement. I was about halfway through when I needed some motivation to finish the last half. I decided to put on the radio and came across a local Christian station and started humming to a familiar song. I suddenly didn’t feel like running away from the dish grime anymore. With my new and refreshing ambiance, I felt I could do the dishes for hours now. My thoughts wandered to God and how He’s really been teaching me a lot lately.I thought about motherhood and how fast the time has really been going by. I was thinking about the last time I blew up at my kids and how often I have to apologize for doing so over and over again. I felt bad that they fall victim to the temper tantrums I throw, when one of them gets under my skin. I was thinking I need to have thicker skin and I need to learn to count to 100 to calm myself down. Who knew I was so hot-headed? Motherhood sure shines a light on that one! Ha! I was thinking that I hope they are great at apologizing. I hope even though I’m messing up, they take the apologies that I make hourly to heart, and do the same with their wives, friends and anyone else they mess up with. What an attribute to have- to apologize in a genuine and meaningful way. Lord, please don’t let them get my short temper, but if they do, please help them to apologize well. I pray humility would reign in their little hearts. These were my thoughts as I scraped the cast iron skillet down. Simple prayers and good will to my little ones.

My peaceful ambiance was then interrupted by a loud bang. It was the back door flying open. As the stomping came closer I wondered which little munchkin it was this time. Who hit who? Who needs a time out? Who’s bleeding? Bracing myself to answer these typical questions, I turn my head around to see my firecracker little three year old, Cannon. The first thing I saw was his arm outstretched with his fat little fist full of weeds with the dirt and roots sticking out in every direction. “Mom, I picked these for you” he said matter-of-factly with his unusually deep voice. As I looked at his little face I saw he was waiting for some kind of approval, a sweet response from his mom. I flashed back to all the times he’s tried to give me something and I was in the middle of something else. I would say, “Thanks Baby!” and continue to do what I was doing, glancing at him for just a second and then getting back to my business.

Today was different. I sensed he needed me. So, I stopped washing the dishes. I dried my hands with the paper towel and I crouched down and really looked at what he was handing me. I grabbed the ‘bouquet’ and put it in a little baby food jar filled with water. I looked him deep in the eyes and saw his eyes just sparkle back with delight. I could tell he really needed that affirmation. He was eating this special attention all up. I slowed the moment down. I gave him a big long squeeze and told him how special he was to me and how I absolutely loved my bouquet. I placed it up on the window sill and said, “Whenever I look at it, I’m going to think of you.” He had the sweetest little smile on that I hope stays etched in my memory forever. He said, “You're welcome mom. I love you too.” You could have mopped me off the floor. I was a big mush. He ran back outside just as abrasively as he came in. I continued doing the dishes and just stared at the mess of weeds my baby boy just gave me with all the love in his heart. I absolutely loved it.

As I was enjoying that sweet little moment I thought, “This is what my worship must be to God.” He takes all my brokenness, pieces of random debris stuck upside down and all mixed up and makes it perfect, beautiful, enough. I give him what’s left of me and He multiplies it, overwhelms me with His goodness and gives me more than I can hold. How often my cup overflows. He adores me, his child. I bet his eyes even sparkle- not at the gift, but at the heart behind it. Thank God He loves me so and meets me in my mess and only sees the covering of his perfect Son. Thank God He pours his wisdom, promises and truth into my soul and constantly reminds me to rest in His finished work. I just can’t believe that He did it again. He revealed his absolute, never-ending; always and forever love toward me~ through a fist full of weeds. I’m so amazed he sees me when I feel invisible and smiles on me just because it delights his heart to do so.

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