Today you are two years old!! I’m mixed with all types of
emotions as I think back to the day you were born
I’m thinking about the ways you’ve been exactly the same and
the ways you’re changing. How you were the snuggliest, sweetest, most contented
baby that ever lived
How you were quiet and now you’re loud. How before you were
always sleeping and now you’re always awake trying desperately to keep up with
those two nutty brothers of yours.
You are beyond busy. You are beginning to want mommy a
little less and brothers a little more. You are asserting yourself as your own
person instead of always being conjoined with me. You are learning that
speaking up has its advantages instead of relying on others to speak for you. You
move furniture all around the house, you dump little pieces of organized things
in a big heaping pile on the floor, you lose sippy cups and hide all of our
shoes in various boxes, drawers and compartments. You stand on the edge of
extremely high edges and when you see my panicked face, you move closer to the
edge to watch in delight as my expression goes from panicked to frantic.
According to you, you don’t need help anymore with things
like eating yogurt, climbing up and down stairs, getting dressed and getting in
your car seat. You think you are so much
bigger than you are. Even though this drives me absolutely bonkers, I have to
admit, I’m not that much different than you. There are times when I go through
life thinking I can do everything on my own too. I don’t need anyone’s help. I
can climb this mountain, I can jump this ocean, I can chew more than I can
swallow- all on my own. All the while, there is my Father guiding me, helping
me in ways I’ll never know and desiring my full reliance on Him. In just the
same way you are running away from my help. I know why. I know it’s hard to
admit you still need my help. I understand a little too well my son. When you
get tired and weary, when you can’t finish what you thought you could finish,
I’ll never leave you in your desperation because my Father never leaves me
either. You will one day learn that it’s better to trust me instead of always
towing the line; just like it’s better for me to trust my Father instead of
being weighed down with fear and anxiety. I can’t get frustrated with you
because looking at you is like looking at myself. Whether in the physical or
spiritual realm, trust is hard but necessary. It might seem like a weak position to
hold but in truth it is the strongest people who have enough wisdom to
recognize their own inadequacies while at the same time relying on the promise
that His strength is their strength. Trouble comes when we think of strength and
power independent of the true source. Having faith is boldly admitting we need
more of God and less of ourselves pretending we are greater than we are.
Whether running away or running toward me, happy or sad,
pushing the line or complying, snuggly or independent, temper tantrum or
delightful squeals, I will love you the same. The same gigantic immeasurable
love I've always and will always have for you, my precious son. I would say
this is the same love my Father has for me, but it’s not even close. As much as
I love you, His love for you is greater, and deeper and sweeter than mine could
ever be in an eternity. As much as I want you to trust me, trust Him more. As
much as I want you to snuggle with me, rest in His unfailing love more. As much
as I want you to respect me, listen and fear Him with every fiber of your being.
He is more than you can imagine Him to be. A rescuer in times of trouble and a
friend in times of joy. He is the lover of your soul, baby.
Even though you are so small, your presence is larger than
life. Everywhere we go you bring a smile to strangers’ faces. They look at you
and you wave and say, HI!” and give them the smile of a lifetime. Young and
old, strangers of all walks of life just beam and have a better day because of you
sharing the love you have inside. You came to us as a surprise, a time when we
were struggling. You were a blessing in disguise and through you we could hear
God shouting clear as day, “Trust me! This is perfect! This is what joy looks
like! Trust my perfect timing!” We are learning to listen to our Father and
here you are, the love of our lives, teaching us, challenging us to be better,
motivating us to trust the unseen, to be more content, and to be thankful no
matter what.
My birthday wish for you is that wherever you go you would
bring happiness and joy to others, just by being the joy-filled person God made
you to be. I hope that your inner peace would bring others the same kind of
contentment you were born with. I’m convinced this is your gift, among many
others. I’m so excited to see your many gifts develop and blossom throughout the years. Never
ever, in a million years, lose this gift of joy. You are, by far, the best undreamt
dream come true. Sweeter than I could have ever dreamed. Messy, snuggly, wild,
tiny-tornado, dirty, drooly, perfect. I love you Reeve Michael. Happy 2nd
Birthday!!
Love,
Mommy
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