Monday, February 18, 2013

To my manly boy, Silas

Today you are FIVE years old. I tear up thinking about how fast these years have gone by, knowing that the next five years will go by just as fast. I want to just savor all the memories and constantly make new ones because you have been one of the greatest joys in my life. When God thought you up, He went to town with his creative genius. Loving, kind, independent, shy, handsome as all get out, expressive, hilarious, and a million other great things. God’s plan for you started before you were born. He knows your every move and every thought. He used me to bring you into the world. You can’t even imagine the love I have for you and to think that my immeasurable love is but a drop of water in the vast ocean of God’s love for you... that just takes my breath away. I would say that one day you’ll understand it, but I’d be lying. You’ll never know the depths of His love for you because it is too great. I pray you’d try though. I pray you’d fall on your knees, close your eyes and be awestruck with every attempt at grasping at it. When I met you five years ago, it was one of the best days of my life. These last five years have been a whirlwind. Thank God I took a million pictures because how easy it is to forget. I remember your silky soft skin, your hairy ears, your fat paws, and your sumo wrestler rolls all over your body. 

How your dad and I looked at you and just bawled our eyes out! Tears of love that couldn’t be contained, tears of anticipation of ‘What do we do with you?!’ Tears of vulnerability, of surrender and of happiness that you were finally here. As the months and years have passed on I look at you with such pride. 

That God has chosen me to be your mommy is something to bask in. I am filled with gratitude for all the moments and memories we’ve made and shared and all the moments we will share in the future. As a baby you were so pleasant, happy and goofy. Really, you were the funniest kid. You were so expressive, filled to the brink with energy, independence and innocence. I remember thinking, I wonder what the record is for most kissed baby because all I did was kiss and squeeze you. 

I didn’t want to miss any season, any milestone. I was right there cheering you on, always your number one fan. I always will be. You are so incredibly smart, articulate, funny and amazing in every way. You could always express why you were angry, disappointed or felt sad. You are one special kid and hands down the best brother anyone could ask for. 

 You’ve taught me more than you’ll ever know. Today I hope you know not only how much you’re treasured, but how much you have taught me about life, God and family. Thank you for the gift of being a mother. I am so much of a better person because of you. My dreams for you are to fly high and to dream your own dreams whatever they may be. 

You are my dream come true, baby. Happy birthday to the boy who forever holds my heart. I love you Silas Benjamin!!


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