The Simple Life

I stumbled upon this stunning blog the other day. Really, it took my breath away. My eyes welled up with tears while listening to the background music dance with the poetic way this mom expressed her beautiful thoughts. The way she portrayed her ‘simple life’ just struck a chord with me. Obviously she lived on a farm because everyone who lives the simple life lives on a farm, right? Her magazine worthy pictures on the site just oozed with family love and camaraderie. There is one shot of one out of her six children giving the baby calf a bottle of milk. It just melted my heart. I sighed to myself and thought, “Ah… the simple life.” When I clicked out of the site, the music stopped and I was met with the whaling of little ones tugging on my pant leg asking for milk, a snack and another piece of my sanity.

After feeling a bit discontented with my own non-farming life, I asked myself, “What does it even mean to live ‘the simple life?’” Do I have to live on a farm to claim this highly desirable yet seemingly unattainable status? Do I have to home school, have five, six or seven children or make my own bread from scratch? Is there room for my not-so-large yet messier-than-most family to live such a life?

Truth is, the simple life can also mean something different than a lovely family with six home-schooled children living on a farm. Lest we be dismayed, discouraged and feeling inadequate, I believe the simple life can indeed be attainable to anyone anywhere- whether living on a farm or right in the middle of a bustling metropolitan. I’ve come to realize that the simple life has little to do with possessions, circumstances, or number of children and everything to do with our inner thoughts, perspective and our individual and unique lens we filter life through, everyday.

The simple life is a way of thinking. It’s letting those thoughts change your life so you can say ‘yes’ to the important and ‘no’ to the distractions. It’s figuring out what to value and what to just let go. It’s about contentment, avoiding comparisons like the plague, and being unexpectedly gracious and kind. It’s being genuine, down-to-earth and letting your guard down. It’s identifying with people and moving closer to relationships and further away from superficiality. It’s finding humor in the things you could fall apart over. It’s being true to yourself when there’s an opportunity to stand up for what’s right, even if it’s unpopular. It’s having it fresh in our mind that today is a gift, a special opportunity to pour into another’s life whether that someone is our own child or a total stranger. It’s looking our hardships square in the face and shouting, “I’m blessed, I’m blessed, I’m blessed!” It’s seeing the big picture when life so often is only pointing at a tiny piece of it. It’s bringing others up when it seems everyone is hurting, fighting an impossible battle. It’s forgiving when mercy isn’t warranted and remembering life is but a breath. Make it count…. bring something beautiful to it that only you can give.

To me, this is the ultimate simple life; keeping first things first, and not sweating the small stuff. It’s constantly remembering we are not the center of the universe and letting that reality drive us to be part of the larger community where we have something to give rather than only looking to see what we can receive. It’s letting technology aid these efforts, not hinder them. It’s choosing to be the victor and not the victim in any given circumstance.

Recently an old high school acquaintance 'friend requested' me over social media. He wrote me an unexpected message telling me that he had a horrible time in high school and wanted to let me know, thirteen years later, that I was one of the few that brightened his day. He thanked me for ‘always having a smile for him.’ I had absolutely no idea that I was contributing anything to him or anyone else. In my own eyes I didn’t do anything seemingly special... but to him it was what helped him get through high school. I was floored and so grateful I was able to bring light to his life all those years ago. It was a gift to him I didn’t even know I was giving. Getting this message from an old friend reminded me of one of my favorite quotes by Marianne Williamson.

Maybe all you did was stay in your pajamas all day, didn’t even brush your teeth… but you nursed that little baby from sun up to sun down. You’ve nourished another. Find peace and pleasure in such a gift. This is the simple life. Maybe you’ve not met your quota at work but during lunch break you listened to another tell her story, and you were there, present, connecting, enabling her to feel heard, important. This rare gift of attention- this is the simple life. Maybe you’ve reached the end of your rope emotionally and physically and are just about ready to collapse when you hear the baby crying, again. Somehow when there’s nothing left to give, there you are giving, again and again. This, my precious friend, is the face of raw sacrificial love, the greatest gift of all. That smile at a stranger, that undeserved gesture of kindness, that moment in time, this is the simple life.

Perfection is an illusion. The simple life is not necessarily living like the Amish as much as living like yourself, in your own mess- except with a new lens that sees and yearns to live out gratitude in spite of the circumstances, not because of it. Go ahead, go live the simple life, right smack in the middle of your very busy non-farming kind of life. As you live it out you unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

How to not meet the status quo- and be thankful for it

Easter morning was chaotic. I should have been prepared with the clothes laid out and pressed with matching accessories and shoes but I didn’t. Three quarters of the clothes were in the laundry, wash or clean but wrinkled in a heaping pile on the laundry room floor. I woke up late and rushed around finding button-down shirts and some sort of khaki bottoms for everyone. Although looking like my life depended on it, I was unable to find matching socks in the whole house- for anyone. How does anyone have 18 socks with no matches? I felt like Murphy’s Law was at work at this point. So, with no matching socks I had them put on socks from the day before. Obviously not the ideal solution, but you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes.

Suppressing the disappointment and guilt I inevitably felt, I finally got all the pieces of everyone’s outfits together and told them to put it on. Tears and tantrums were the immediate response. As the time was ticking I started to give the evil eye and curl my lip in frustration. Still more whining and running all around. Anger started to rise and my voice was rising along with my blood. Why can’t they just listen? Why of all days are they fighting me with this? A button-down shirt isn’t too much to ask, is it? Well, in my house it was too much. At my wits end, weighing getting to church super late or disciplining properly I resorted to bargaining and bribes. 

I walked into the kitchen to see my husband dressed like he was going to play baseball. I’m like, “IT’S EASTER! Can you put on something a little more… dressy/nice?”  He looks at what I’m wearing and grunts, “Oh” with an, ‘I guess you’re right but I’m still annoyed’ kind of look. We had about 5 minutes to get in the car and no one had eaten breakfast yet. I tossed some eggs on a few plates and every other word I uttered was, “Come on, hurry up, let’s go, we’re going to be late, stop screaming, stop messing around, come on, hurry up…”

This is highly ironic since it’s a known fact for anyone that’s known me more than five seconds that I’m always late and just about everything I do is slow. But today it was everyone else’s problem that we were running late (so it was in my mind anyway… ) Plus, pointing fingers is so much easier than taking responsibility, right?

I just wanted so badly to be that picture perfect family dressed to the nines with darling smiles on, holding hands and being adorable. Instead I was the mean Mama barking orders at everyone while mopey kids and disgruntled husband shot non-verbal insults my way. Was that button-down shirt worth all this? Why did I care about such superficial things?

Of course we were late. Of course we all were miserable. On the way to church I kept wondering how many other families had the same morning as us. How many didn’t? What could I have done differently? From someone whose motto is “Don’t sweat the small stuff” all I was doing was sweating the small stuff.

I wish I would have woken up earlier. I wish I would have prayed that morning and asked God to help me remember what it was I was going to church for. I wish I would have let them pick out their own outfits. I wish I wouldn’t have been influenced by what culture says is “Easter outfits.” I wish I would have spoken sweetly to them and given out more words of love and encouragement then of judgment and hostility. I wish I would have said, “You want to wear your Spiderman shirt? Okay Baby, I love that shirt too.” I wish I would have looked at my husband’s casual outfit and said, “You look so handsome- I love you no matter what you wear! (because he did and because I do)” As I sat there in the car wishing my morning away and rethinking my attitude, I started thinking about Easter. I thought about why we’re even going to this church building. I should have been praying for souls to be reached, for God to move in the hearts of those attending, for God to heal my broken way of thinking, for Him to touch people’s lives through the worship and message. I should have cared about different things.  

After all my apologies and after the service was over and we came home, everyone ripped out of their clothes not one minute after stepping into the house. I immediately thought, “Well all that fighting was totally not worth it.” I didn’t get one picture of us… instead I got a lesson learned. The best lessons learned are the ones where you can look back on your mistakes and say, “Wow, that was dumb… I’m not doing that again.” Later that day as all the Easter Facebook pictures popped up on my news feed I just smiled and thought, ‘We missed that picturesque moment, but I learned a timely lesson that I wouldn’t trade for all the pastel pants and Chaps shirts in the world.’ Next Easter I’ll concentrate on things that matter. I’ll think about Jesus instead of fancy clothes. We’ll more than likely be the family dressed like we’re going to a sports event. Maybe some of us will be wearing clean socks, maybe we won’t. Maybe we’ll have our shirts tucked in, maybe we won’t. One thing is for sure, I’m not going to sweat the small stuff. No one will be spoken to harshly and we’ll be wearing the only thing that really matters… a thankful heart for Jesus. 

Easter

It seems like at least once a day at some point I’ve been drilling the kids to remember what Easter really means. It feels like an uphill battle where every sign, commercial and display is about bunnies and colorful eggs. One time after I quizzed them on what Easter really means Silas asked, “Then why are there so many Easter bunnies if that has nothing to do with Easter?” I said, “I guess it’s because there’s always something else that seems more colorful and exciting to take away from Jesus.” He looked thoughtful then ran off to play. I hope he gets that even though in so many ways Jesus and His truths are unpopular, they are the only way to peace, contentment and true joy.

Just yesterday, the kids came home with a huge bucket filled with candy. They had an Easter egg hunt at school. The amount of candy was almost like Halloween- ridiculous amounts. My kids never looked so happy as they trotted out of the school building proudly swinging their heavy buckets filled to the brim with everything deliciously desired in their little minds.

Even at age 31, I still really enjoy a good Snickers, Twix, Reece’s peanut butter cup, etc. I have gone on a long journey with food to come to a place now where I am no longer ignorant about the dangers and realities behind the food industry. I have gone from no awareness, ‘ignorance is bliss’, eat-whatever- I-want-without-a-care-in-the-world, to very much informed, knowledgeable, cautious and a proactive advocate for a healthy, natural, eating as close to God’s green earth as humanly possible kind of gal. We have no allergies per se but we live like we do. We cut out modern hybridized wheat, genetically modified foods, most processed sugary foods, and grain fed beef. This list seems small but it’s basically everything they sell at the store. This has been very hard but I know it’s what we have to do as a family. In a sense, I know too much to just go back to the way we used to eat. As a result, we’ve all slimmed down a bit and I feel really good about feeding my kids knowing that I’m doing everything I can to fuel their bodies with what it needs to be healthy and to give them the best start possible in life. As far as perfection goes, we are far from it. Eating healthy in an unhealthy world is so hard. Parties, family functions, last minute meals are all temptations to slip up. We do slip up and have these forbidden foods on occasion but the next day we hop back on the healthy eating train and all is well again.

So, as the kids are getting in the van with their candy I am trying to figure out how to handle it. I want to just throw it all out in the garbage and give them a few treats I got them at Earthfare, where there are no GMO’s and there is actually a short ingredient list instead of the never ending chemicals on the traditional candy labels. But then the look in their eyes, I just couldn’t. So, I made them a deal. We would eat a few pieces today and then throw the rest out and not have any tomorrow. We did the same thing for Halloween and they took that okay. So we broke out the candy and immediately threw out all the Tootsie Rolls. I just couldn’t even go there. To be fair, all the candy is pretty much horrible for you, but for some reason Tootsie Rolls just push me a little too far. They are completely banned for us. So, for the rest of the candy we just ate a few pieces and a few pieces more and then before we knew it, all the candy was gone. I ate right along with them! Next thing I knew we all had runny noses… out of nowhere. I had a splitting headache and Cannon’s belly was hurting him. How this candy was affecting us was so telling.

It reminded me of the way we handle sin in our lives. It looks so appealing, it’s wrapped in such shiny, pretty packaging with bright colors and cute bows. It taste so good. We can’t have enough and we indulge ourselves as much as we can. Afterwards, we are hurting. That hurt can be emotional, spiritual, or directed at someone we love. Either way, we would have been better off to run away from the temptation, like when Joseph ran away from Potiphar’s wife when she was tempting him.

When Brandon came home from work, the kids were jumping off the walls and I was feeling terrible with a headache that wouldn’t go away.  I asked B, “Since when did Easter mean GMO partially-hydrogenated oils, genetically modified corn starch, GMO corn syrup, GMO sugar, preservatives, artificial dyes and a host of other unpronounceable chemicals? When did we go from, “Praise God! Jesus is alive!!” to “Let’s fill our babies’ bodies with everything that’s terrible for them and call that Easter fun!” I know I’m probably the scrooge of Easter egg candy, but isn’t there a better way? They actually do make candy that is not terrible for you. I had to search, but it’s out there, for about quadruple the price… but it’s out there!

At night when all the Easter candy is gone and we’ve all recovered from our sugar highs (and lows) and refueled our bodies with vegetables to try and compensate for the day before, I’m going to sit down with my boys. I’m going to tell them that this is the best holiday in the world because we know that not even death can keep us apart from God. Jesus died and when He rose on the third day, that’s proof to everyone that not only is He God, but all of our bad stuff that was put on Jesus is now forever gone. Whenever you mess up, remember that Jesus already died for that and He’s alive now waiting on you to grab a hold of that forgiveness. I’m going to tell them that because of Easter we can live without worrying about anything. We don’t have to fear a thing because the same God that loved us enough to send Jesus to die on a cross for our sin is inside of us compelling us to live out this love to others. I hope they are amazed at the grace of God and how absolutely nothing, not even death, can keep us from the love of God.

I pray this scripture would be hidden in their hearts. No matter where they are or what circumstances come their way- that they would know that the love and grace of God is not earned or deserved. It’s not to be taken lightly or for granted. It’s a treasure, a gift, a mystery and a marvel. It’s everything we could ever hope for and everything we’ll ever need. It’s freedom and life, peace and hope and all that we can ever desire. It’s enough, more than enough... Thank you Lord for Easter, for this amazing miracle of grace. For taking every bad thing I’ve done and thought or will do or will think and sending it as far as the east is from the west. Thank you for the promise of heaven and for never leaving us alone. Thank you for the truth that sets our souls free. May gratitude reign in my heart today and tomorrow and all the days and years after. May my heart never grow weary of thanking You for victory over sin, peace for today and hope for eternity.