Suppressing the disappointment
and guilt I inevitably felt, I finally got all the pieces of everyone’s outfits
together and told them to put it on. Tears and tantrums were the immediate response.
As the time was ticking I started to give the evil eye and curl my lip in
frustration. Still more whining and running all around. Anger started to rise
and my voice was rising along with my blood. Why can’t they just listen? Why of
all days are they fighting me with this? A button-down shirt isn’t too much to
ask, is it? Well, in my house it was too much. At my wits end, weighing getting
to church super late or disciplining properly I resorted to bargaining and
bribes.
I walked into the kitchen to see my husband dressed like he was going
to play baseball. I’m like, “IT’S EASTER! Can you put on something a little
more… dressy/nice?” He looks at what I’m
wearing and grunts, “Oh” with an, ‘I guess you’re right but I’m still annoyed’
kind of look. We had about 5 minutes to get in the car and no one had eaten breakfast
yet. I tossed some eggs on a few plates and every other word I uttered was, “Come
on, hurry up, let’s go, we’re going to be late, stop screaming, stop messing
around, come on, hurry up…”
This is highly ironic since it’s a known fact for anyone
that’s known me more than five seconds that I’m always late and just about
everything I do is slow. But today it was everyone else’s problem that we were
running late (so it was in my mind anyway… ) Plus, pointing fingers is so much
easier than taking responsibility, right?
I just wanted so badly to be that picture perfect family
dressed to the nines with darling smiles on, holding hands and being adorable.
Instead I was the mean Mama barking orders at everyone while mopey kids and
disgruntled husband shot non-verbal insults my way. Was that button-down shirt
worth all this? Why did I care about such superficial things?
Of course we were late. Of course we all were miserable. On
the way to church I kept wondering how many other families had the same morning
as us. How many didn’t? What could I have done differently? From someone whose
motto is “Don’t sweat the small stuff” all I was doing was sweating the small stuff.
I wish I would have woken up earlier. I wish I would have
prayed that morning and asked God to help me remember what it was I was going
to church for. I wish I would have let them pick out their own outfits. I wish
I wouldn’t have been influenced by what culture says is “Easter outfits.” I
wish I would have spoken sweetly to them and given out more words of love and
encouragement then of judgment and hostility. I wish I would have said, “You
want to wear your Spiderman shirt? Okay Baby, I love that shirt too.” I wish I
would have looked at my husband’s casual outfit and said, “You look so handsome-
I love you no matter what you wear! (because he did and because I do)” As I sat
there in the car wishing my morning away and rethinking my attitude, I started
thinking about Easter. I thought about why we’re even going to this church
building. I should have been praying for souls to be reached, for God to move
in the hearts of those attending, for God to heal my broken way of thinking,
for Him to touch people’s lives through the worship and message. I should have
cared about different things.
After all my apologies and after the service was over and we
came home, everyone ripped out of their clothes not one minute after stepping
into the house. I immediately thought, “Well all that fighting was totally not
worth it.” I didn’t get one picture of us… instead I got a lesson learned. The
best lessons learned are the ones where you can look back on your mistakes and
say, “Wow, that was dumb… I’m not doing that again.” Later that day as all the
Easter Facebook pictures popped up on my news feed I just smiled and thought, ‘We
missed that picturesque moment, but I learned a timely lesson that I wouldn’t
trade for all the pastel pants and Chaps shirts in the world.’ Next Easter I’ll
concentrate on things that matter. I’ll think about Jesus instead of fancy
clothes. We’ll more than likely be the family dressed like we’re going to a
sports event. Maybe some of us will be wearing clean socks, maybe we won’t.
Maybe we’ll have our shirts tucked in, maybe we won’t. One thing is for sure, I’m
not going to sweat the small stuff. No one will be spoken to harshly and we’ll
be wearing the only thing that really matters… a thankful heart for Jesus.
